Soooo...7 days in a row!!

I am very proud of Lanie.  She has made it clear through school for 7 days in a row!  Today will be 8.  She does have to leave school a little early to make it to her Group Therapy but she made it until Grandma picked her up!  So incredibly proud of my little girl!

This weekend Lanie had a good time.  On Saturday pappa took her for a 4 hour bike ride!  Incredible!  He said she was really good and that they played in the park for part of that time.  She also was invited to a sleep over at a friends house on Saturday.  This is her first friend sleepover!  They went to Monkey Joe's and had a sleep over and she didn't come home until almost noon on Sunday.  Needless to say I had a very relaxing weekend and after therapy 3 days a week last week I needed it! 

We did more painting this weekend.  We painted the top part of the hallway on the main floor and then kept that color going up the stairs to the second floor.  We are not quite done with that but almost.  This next weekend will be the living room.  Very excited about that.  One area a weekend is about all we can handle.  Next comes the kitchen, then the downstairs bathroom, Nonnie and Johns room and then my room and Lanie's room are down the list.  Lanie needs to go at least 4 weeks with no poop incidents before we paint her room.  She had one last week after a particularly bad group session.  It was not her that acted up but another child but she needs to learn to control that impulse. 

This weekend Lanie gets to go to Lowe's Build and Grow and make a dragon car.  We are very excited about that. 

Lanie's Birthday!

Tomorrow is Lanie's sixth birthday and we celebrated it this weekend.  Hannah came over on Sunday, we went out to Lunch and the girls went with Papa to go sledding.  They had a good time but got cold very quickly.  Lanie wanted a pink cake with purple icing.  Yes, she got it, unfortunately I forgot to take a picture. 

Nonnie and I painted this weekend.  I painted most of the bathroom but have to wait for John to fix one of the walls before I can finish.  I did not take a picture because I want to wait for the finished project to take a photo.  We also painted the dining room.  I took a picture of that, but he dining room is still a mess...so ignore that!!

I really like the color.  At first I didn't think I would because it looked too pink but this is nice.  Nonnie also painted the lower part of the hallway (under the chair rail) with this color and we will use a lighter color for the top.  It feels so good to be doing some changes to the house, even if it is only painting. 

So Lanie had a good weekend.  She had no meltdowns and no poop paintings!  This was really a step forward for us.  She does not have school today because of Presidents Day but she goes back tomorrow and is bringing cupcakes for her birthday.  I hope she stays in school all day long because they don't do cupcakes until 2:30!  I am hoping for a full day.  She has now had two in a row and I cannot remember the last time she had 2 good days in a row at school...maybe never??

ADHD Medicine...

Another episode in the never ending saga that is my life...

Lanie saw the doctor on Monday and he put her on a very low dose of Tenex.  We actually started it on Tuesday evening.  Tuesday during school Lanie got in trouble yet again for hitting and kicking.  They even got a portion of it on video.  It amazed me because Lanie is never that way at home!  She has never even tried to hit or kick one of us.  And has never acted that way to her sister or her cousins.  After that we thought that maybe we should just take her out of school for the year and start her back next year, but after starting her on the Tenex for a full day yesterday, we rethought the decision. She was so mellow and good that she went back to school today.  We will see how it goes on the medication before we make such a huge decision. 

Last night we were on our way to group therapy and got stuck in traffic just before the bridge into St. Charles.  We sat on highway 70 until 5:00 (I left the office at 3 and picked her up before 3:15).  We decided to just get on 270 and go home.  It then took us another hour and 45 minutes to get home!  So Lanie was trapped in the car with me for 3 1/2 hours and was amazing!  She did not argue with me or whine.  She ate all her snacks we had for group and even when she had to go potty she did not whine about it.  She fell asleep about the last 45 minutes and when we got home she was very cooperative about taking a shower, eating and getting ready for bed.  The best evening we have had in a very, very long time!  I am so hoping that she does well at school today.  I really want her to finish out the year.

We have another group therapy session tonight.  I am really hoping the traffic is better tonight than it was last night.

No, I cannot spell!!

I just read over my last post and realized that I misspelled Relief and Relieve!!  My apologies to all my literate friends out there who actually know how to spell better than I do!

Last week on Thursday, we actually got Lanie into a group counseling session and she will be in the same session Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays for 3 hours each and then on Tuesdays she has her normal counseling session with Dana.  Tonight she will actually get to meet with the Doctor who will, over the next 2-4 weeks, assess her and give us a diagnosis.  After we get the diagnosis, we will know where to go from there.  I cannot beleive this is happening so fast!

Last week in the assessment the intake person gave us some Mandala's - I did not even know what they were. Nonnie and I spent the entire 3 hour session that we waited in the lobby, doing Mandala's.  If you do not know what they are, they are designs to color.  It is a geometric figure representing the universe in Hindu and Buddhist symbolism and it is suppose to relieve stress-I think-by giving a person something to focus on other than what is causing them stress.  It works!  I have now printed out about 2 dozen of them.

This weekend was a good weekend for Lanie.  She was relatively calm and mostly listened to what she was told.  We are using the 1,2,3 magic method and we were able to get some good practice in this weekend but Lanie only had to go to her room 3 times.  That is a record!  Today she is still in school and it is 2:03 p.m.  I have talked to the counselor and her teacher today and they both say she is doing very well today.  Her teacher, Ms. Dierker, said she came in very happy today and has remained so.  I am so glad! 

Oppositional Defiant Disorder...

For the past few months we have been struggling with Lanie's behavior both at school and at home.  In the past 2 months it has gotten so much worse that I even took her to the Emergency Room trying to get someone to listen to me.  My child needs HELP!! and I need help to help her!!  I finally posted a plea on Facebook.  I contacted the Family Resource Cener, a Psychiatrist that was recommended, Washington University, DePaul Hospital, Our Little Haven, SLU, UMSL, St. Louis Behavioral Medicine.  All to no avail.  They either could not help us because we live in the city and not the county or they do not accept her insurance.  I had a lot of support that finally lead me to the Behavioral Health Response team.  I am so grateful to have found this group.  They sent a team out this morning to our house and met with us to assess Lanie.  They think it is ODD with a bit of ADHD mixed in.  They are going to be our advocate from now forward until we are through this and can handle it on our own.  They have access to phychologists, phychiatrist and therapist that will give all of us the support we need to be able to raise Lanie and guide her appropriately through this.  I am so relieved!  I don't even know how to express my relief-just knowing that there is a name for this and that help is available is just so helpful.  I know that we have a long way to go but we now have someone to guide us!   They also told us that most people let it go on way too long, don't catch it until 4th or 5th grade and then it is very hard to turn around.  By catching it this early we are way ahead of the game. 

I was told by multiple people to take her into the ER and let them know that her behavior has escalated to the point of hitting and kicking teachers and kids in her class.  I was in Childrens ER for 6 hours for them to tell me that "unfortunately since she is not homicidal or suicidal, we cannot help her."  I neglected to tell them that I was the one that was suicidal, not her!!  I have basically been on the phone and/or crying for the last 6 days!  Lanie has now been suspended from school for the 4th time -- IN KINDERGARTEN!!!  Let me tell you, that is humiliating in itself!  but then you add all the other stuff that has been going on and I am a total basket case.  I am so grateful to my boss for working with me on all these issues.  My coworkers and my boss have been great and so understanding!  I do love my job.  That makes me smile, just typing it!

Life Can Be Stressful...

The end of last year and the first couple weeks of this year have been very stressful for our family.  We have been going through trials with other family members that are trying to tear us apart.  I feel as though we have been tried by fire!  But we have come out on the other side stronger and more diligent than ever.  We have learned a lot from this trial but we have lost a lot too. 

Lanie has had a 5 day weekend this week.  She was out of school on Thursday because of  family issues and then school was closed on Friday for Teacher development day and today because of MLK day.  She is rather spoiled with this time off because she got to sleep downstairs from Wednesday night to last night.  We won't let her sleep in the living room on school nights because she tends to stay up much later when she sleeps on the couch.  When I left the house at 6:30 this morning she was snoring away on the couch with her arms wrapped around Charlie Brown. 

This weekend I was rather lazy, did not do much at all except make Lanie a really pretty dress.  I will get a picture of it and post it.  I have some hand work yet to do on it though.  She was very excited.  The pattern was one that I used on my neice Haley when she was living with me when she was 8 years old.  The pattern fits Lanie perfectly (with a tad bit of room to grow) and she is only 6.  Now, I have to say that Haley was and is very small!  Lanie is about average for her age group. 

We took Lanie to Quest Diagnostics last weekend for a lead test.  We have had some issues with high lead from the old house.  Her lead levels have been up t 12.8 but after the test last week it is down to 8.  It should not be over 6 so it is still a little high but much better than it used to be.  We still need to have it checked every 3 months or so though. 

This is about it for our household right now.  Just trying to get life back to normal and breathe a sigh of releif for a little bit of time...until the round!

After the Christmas rush...

This Christmas was much quieter than we had anticipated.  It was just the four of us but we had so much fun.  Lanie was estactic with her gifts..it was everything she asked for!  If it could only always be that simple! 

 

Here she is with her Charlie Brown.  Papa loves the Peanuts characters so she is really into them also.  Papa got a dancing Snoopy!

Here is the tree before we opened the presents.

 

Dora the Elf got a bit brave this year.  She was very inventive too.  Wish I would have gotten pictures of all the places she found to watch Lanie!  It was touch and go for awhile.  Lanie was on the Naughty list for quite a while this year!

We were quite crafty this year.  This was our attempt at a Graham Cracker Village.  Oh well, better luck next year!  We also did painted sugar cookies, and made some gingerbread men magnets and tree ornaments.

 

Lanie helped bake cookies this year.  On this particular night, we had so much fun.  She was such a sweetheart and was so lovey dovey.  She kept telling me, Mommy, I love you.  Your the best Mommy.  It was very cute. 

She was a great helper and my number 1 Taste Tester!! We made Gingersnaps, Painted sugar cookies, chocolate chip, peanut butter and snickerdoodles. Oh yeah, I made Carmels on Saturday. 

 

I know this is Halloween but she made such a cute witch!!

 



 

Lanie and I are going to counseling once a week so that I can learn to guide this Strong Willed Child!  She has her own mind and ideas and she wants to be listened to.  I am learning to guide her to the right decisions instead of stifling her.  I want her to grow up to be a leader among her peers but she cannot do that if I try to shut her down.  I have to say though, that it is hard raising a SWC.  She wants what she wants and she wants it yesterday.  She is learning delayed gratification and also learning to do for herself.  If I cannot get her what she wants when she wants it, such as a glass of chocolate milk or koolaid or water, she will get up and get it herself.  There is usually a mess to clean up afterwards, but she is learning to clean that up also.  That is a good thing for everyone to learn..."Clean up after yourself".   I am also learning to not be so controlling.  Very hard for someone like me.  I have learned that if she does not pick up her toys Lillie will teach her the lesson...by chewing up whatever toy she left on the floor!  (Lillie is my chihuahua and likes to chew!)

 

Lanie is in Kindergarten this year as I think I told you in my last blog.  She has had a rough year but is learning very well.  The week before Christmas she got suspended FROM KINDERGARTEN for a day because she hit a kid in the nose and gave him a bloody nose.  I asked her why she did this and she said the kid kept pulling her hair and when she asked him to stop he wouldn't do it.  I asked her if she told the teacher and she said that the teacher didn't do anything.  I was kind of torn on punishing her except that I want her to learn that there are better ways to handle this than hitting so we discussed her maybe moving to the back of the line.  She was very upset that she would have to give up being in the front but we talked about how that still would have been a better choice.  She said she would do that next time.  She did get punished though...she was unable to watch any t.v. for 24 hours and was not allowed any treats or special goodies.  Meals were very boring and she got tired of only being able to drink water and no chocolate milk.  She now will talk to me about things she can do when she gets mad like taking 5 deep breaths and smiling instead of hitting. She said she is going to walk away from this kid next time and not hit him.  It seems like this kid is a reoccuring feature in Lanie's troubles at school.  I am going to sit in on her day when she goes back after break.  I want to see what is going on in this classroom.  If this one kid is her problem then I want them seperated! 

 

Well, time to get back to work.  I hope 2016 brings you all much happiness, joy and prosperity!!